Hold My Hand
by Althaea11
Summary: Just a little missing scene from S04E09 "No one mourns the Wicked" after Jane has Hoyt's nightmare and she ends up calling Maura. A/N: You know you can see Rizzles if you really wish to. Not tagging anything otherwise ; )


**Author Notes:** This one might well be counted as the missing scene in the ninth episode of the fourth season "No One Mourns the Wicked" after Jane has Hoyt's nightmare in her apartment. Jane is such a strong character; I admire how she finds strength in the moments when it is so hard to find.

_._._._._._._._

Maura had finally decided to compartmentalize the taxing events of day and lay down for sleep. She knew Jane was trying to do the same although a part of her subconscious was concerned if Jane was getting any success doing that. The name of Hoyt was enough to bring back the horrible memories of the past. A literal killing with the exact same MO was going to be worse. There was a reason she had asked Jane to come and sleep with her tonight. As much as she knew Jane needed her to feel safe, she needed some comfort too. (She hadn't told Jane but she too had nightmares for months after Hoyt almost managed to kill both of them.) But Jane had decided not to trouble her. She was trying to beat this in her own way. Maura however only wished that she could help her.

It was 3 am. She was just about to send out a little prayer to the universe to give her and her best friend a little sleep when her phone rang. She had made sure she kept it close if Jane needed her, and her forehead furrowed in concern when she saw on the phone screen that it was indeed Jane.

"Jane?" Maura knew at that very moment that she just needed to see her best friend more than anything.

"Maur… umm did I wake you?" Jane's voice was quivering even though she was making every attempt to calm it down. Maura shuddered at the thought of whatever made Jane's voice tremble like that.

"No I was up Jane. What happened? Are you alright?"

"I actually am not. Is it okay if I talk to you for a little while?" Maura could hear the pleading in Jane's words. Maura was certain that her friend was not okay.

"Of course Jane, I would really like that." Maura replied instantly, voicing it in her usual calm voice so as to ease Jane a bit.

"So, umm tell me why you are up?" Jane tried to dodge her own mind from blurting out the nightmare to Maura. She was practically shaking even now. It all felt so real and she knew she should tell her, she was almost certain the genius M.E. was already suspecting as much, but she wanted to calm herself down a bit before talking about it all over again.

"Well, you would be surprised that I am not that calm as an elder sister as you would think. I think I have found my Achilles' heel Jane." Maura voice was a perfect mix of calm and undue sibling anxiety that was already beginning to sooth Jane's nerves.

"O yeah? What did Cailin, the demigod do this time?" Jane's voice shimmered with a smile that grew on her lips at Maura's words.

"I try Jane, I try so hard to be supportive of what she wants to do because I really want her to like me but she just unknowingly manages to find just the right things to make me angry. As your mother puts it, she knows just to press the right set of buttons with me. I will go crazy Jane. I just don't know how to be an elder sister." Jane could see the pout forming on Maura's adorable face.

"Aww… Hey, who says that you don't know how to be an elder sister? I will bet my life any day on the fact that there is hardly anything that you don't know of. You just need a little practice with people." Jane couldn't risk laughing out loud at the raised eyebrow that her last remark must have brought on Maura's forehead so she just put up her palm on her mouth to resist laughing.

"Are you mocking me Jane Clementine Rizzoli?" Maura managed to bring the pout in her words. Jane almost melted.

"No, I am absolutely not." And she just couldn't stop resisting letting one little smile seep through the words.

"I bet you find it so easy just because you can lie without getting hives." Maura smiled as she placed the harmless accusation up.

"You bet." Jane voice had lost all its tremor and fear. Apparently, Jane realized, she did the right thing when she decided to call Maura.

There was a comfortable silence between them and Maura didn't feel a need to fill it with words. She knew Jane was trying to tell whatever nightmare had stressed her to the extent of shivering. She knew these things needed to be given their due time.

"I had a nightmare Maur." Jane finally spoke after about a minute.

"Studies show Jane that talking about one's nightmares to someone provides a therapeutic relief to the conscious and the subconscious mind."

"Well I do need all the therapeutic relief I can get right about now." Jane tried to lighten the conversation but that didn't eased Maura somehow.

"What did you see Jane?" Maura tried to ask as calmly as she could.

"I saw him Maur. I saw him in my apartment while I was sleeping. It was so real and so eerie to see him here yet again. All those nightmares I kept having the last time, I thought that was the end of it once I killed him. But it just came rushing back so clearly. I have never ever been as terrified of anything in my life as these nightmares make me. I was so terrified right now that I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't shake the feeling off."

"I know Jane; it is not easy when nightmares fix on to haunt your every waking moment. But remember, you are stronger than you think. And Hoyt, he is dead. You killed him." Maura didn't realize consciously but the memory of that dreadful day brought a silent shudder in her spine.

"I know Maur, I know. I just, I wish I didn't had to see him again. I don't like it one bit. And this time he brought a kid to kill a puppy in front of me. I mean, someone please tell him to keep his creativity to himself." Jane trembled even as she tried to make a joke of her dream. That thing had meant something. She just didn't know what it meant.

"I think your subconscious mind is trying to help you link something your conscious mind is failing to see in plain sight. I suggest, you get some rest and let you 'guts' as you call it, help you find the missing link in due time."

Jane almost smiled at a way Maura said guts. She so wished she could see her right now. Somehow that would make everything a little more bearable.

"I wish I could see you right now. You medical mumbo jumbo always eases me." Jane whispered into the phone she knew would carry the words ever so delicately in Maura's ears.

Maura smiled. Apparently they both wanted the same thing. "As much as I want you to teleport here right now, I know you need some rest before we begin to delve into the case again. Close your eyes and try to concentrate on your breath. It will sooth your nerves and help you sleep."

"Okay, I will try. You should sleep too." Jane knew that wasn't going to have any sleep tonight but she still didn't want Maura to worry.

"I will. Call me if you need me. Okay?" Maura's voice was back to a gentle caress.

"I will. Thanks Maur. Sleep well. See you in the morning." Jane's lips found a smile just for Maura.

"See you Jane. Good night."

Maura let Jane hang up the phone first. She wanted to hug Jane right then and take all her troubles away. If only.


End file.
